Too desi for my good

This has been on my mind for a while now, so I might as well get it out of my system.

Having lived in India for the first 35 years of my life, I decided, a couple of years ago, to spend some time overseas. I took up a job in Australia, and moved there with wife and kids.

We have been in Australia for the last two years, and on the whole it’s been a very enjoyable experience. I get to spend more time with family. There are no work-related calls after business hours or on weekends. The kids actually look forward to going to school. Travelling to work on public transport does not leave you all sweaty. Driving can actually be a pleasure. In the initial months, we missed our friends back in India . Over time, we made some great new friends, and now we have our own little social circle. The government actually works and people take rules seriously. There is peace and order. People say hello and smile at you across the shop counter. Life is good.

Despite the above, it is not my intention to “settle” in Australia. In all likelihood, we will be going back to India in a couple of years. Chit-chat in social gatherings among Indians living in Australia usually veers around to talk of permanent residency/citizenship at some stage. On hearing of my plans, the reaction from the listener varies from a frank expression of surprise, to a polite “Oh, I see”, betrayed by a look in the eyes which conveys complete puzzlement. I can accept that a lot of people find the prospect of leaving one’s homeland and settling down in Australia, very attractive. On the other hand, I would expect people to concede to the possibility that it is not inconceivable for one to choose to lead most of one’s life in the country of origin. And it really riles me that the burden of an explanation is so squarely placed on people in the latter category.

The really important decisions in life, such as one’s profession, choosing a life partner, or deciding where to live are seldom based on a calm and rational analysis of various pros and cons. One simply knows which path to choose. Working backwards, one can possibly lay out a set of seemingly plausible explanations to rationalize one’s choice of a particular path. Here are a few thoughts on the subject.

1. Home is where the heart is. When I walk down a street in India, I feel like I am on home ground. The atmosphere, the people, the events are all elements of a stage production, of which I am an original cast member. When news happens there, I relate to it, much more than I can to parliamentary debate on climate change or the plight of asylum seekers in a developed nation. When the Rajdhani express is stopped by miscreants, or the education minister scraps Class X board exams, my consciousness responds at a deeper level, because I have been there, done that. In a foreign country, I am a bystander to common topics of discussion, with little personal involvement. Integration with the wider community does not happen overnight.
   
2. Identity. Indianness is a large part of my personality. Having lived there 35 years, its culture, lifestyle, cinema, sporting lore, politics, etc have permeated my being. These are not easily shaken off. Citizenship is a particularly ticklish issue. Call me naïve, but renouncing one’s passport and becoming a citizen of another country, constitutes a switching of allegiance. I cannot see myself ever rooting for Australia in a cricket match against India . It troubles me that people can become citizens of a country in brain and body, but refuse to yield, in their hearts, to their adopted land. This reflects a level of convenience and opportunism that I would find rather difficult to handle.
   
3. No reason to quit. As per various reports published by the UN and other agencies from time to time, India is apparently a crappy country, ranking below hundred in the league tables on various human development indices. This is probably true for the millions of economically disadvantaged people in India, but I am fortunate enough not to belong to that category. I had well-to-do parents, who gave me a decent upbringing and access to a decent education. With no particular connections or assets other than an academic inclination and willingness to put in the hours, I was rewarded with admission to the country’s best schools and colleges, and well placed to compete for the most sought after jobs. For me at least, the system worked. Our opinions are shaped by our experience, and mine has, on the whole, been good.
   
4. Parents. We should be near enough to our folks to support them in their old age. This is just one of those non-negotiable aspects of life. It’s gotta be done.
   
5. Kids. “But what about your kids? Isn’t it much better for them here?” Perhaps. Time will tell. School is definitely less stressful here. But it is not as though kids lead deprived lives in India . In any case, they have their lives ahead of them. When they come of age, they can choose where they want to live.
   

These are my reasons. I can understand others may have entirely different views. To each his own.

Many hometowns

We returned from our India trip last week. It was brilliantly hectic. Over three weeks we travelled 6 places. Delhi, Jaipur, Bangalore, Mysore, Kabini (Nagarhole National Park) and Chennai.

India did not disappoint. The traffic, pollution, crowds and noise were as bad as ever. And I loved it as much as ever.

Not being rooted to any particular city in India, it has always been a bit of a challenge to nominate one place as a hometown. My parents having settled in Bangalore in 1991, it became my "permanent address" and since then officially my hometown. Bangalore beats any other major Indian city hands down on the climate factor. However not having spent my formative years there has meant that my affinity for the city is probably not as strong as a true local.

I would not choose to live in Delhi for reasons of serious cultural wavelength mismatch with its typical inhabitants. But there is a certain something about its iconic landmarks (especially the area around India Gate), wonderful schooltime memories and old friendships which combine to make being in that city a real feel good experience. Also, my mother in law lives there and she is a superb host.

Chennai is nice for its sedate pace, and generally pleasant people (except for autodrivers). People whinge about the climate, but it is only a shade worse than other cities like Mumbai and arguably better than Delhi in summer. Winter is ok. My lack of comfort in the local language though (which doesn't seem that much of a handicap in Bangalore) will probably prevent me from ever adopting Chennai as my hometown.

Mumbai is probably the city I am culturally most in sync with. I like it's live and let live attitude, and work ethic. It is a city of opportunity, where millions run the rat race every day to earn their living. They pick themselves up and hit the road day after day, come high water or terrorist attack. But there is a certain desperation to this lifestyle, and why would anyone choose to be a rat if he/she had a choice?

Kolkata - The city where I have spent the most time. 11 years, to the age of 14. But it seems a distant memory now. I went back there to do my MBA and still had a great fondness for the city. But the fondness was like the affection for an old uncle, whom one may want to meet every few years, to relive memories and listen to wonderful stories, but not really want to stay with for too long. The world is moving on and we have only so much time for nostalgia.

I was born in Hyderabad, and that is where I spent some truly memorable summer vacations in my childhood. My last surviving grandparent lived there and she passed away a few years back. Nothing draws me there now.